And what d'ya know?
Fourteen and a half years ago I met my best friend. We know things about each other no one else does. Astoundingly, we've only ever been in each other's physical presence twice in that 14 year time span. That's the military for ya. Even now she's in Korea. Thank God for phones and video chat technology, as well as the good 'ol snail mail.
Over the course of our long distance friendship, there are a few things I've come to treasure.
One thing I've come to treasure is learning I don't have to put on a façade. I can be authentic. She doesn't get rubbed the wrong way by my responses or lack thereof. I'm not a big talker, but I am a huge listener. Partly because in the past I've had anxiety about saying the wrong thing; and mainly because I tend to be in my own head most often. And to be honest I really don't feel I have anything to contribute to conversations that center around topics other than home, God and family (think current events and politics and so on). In short, my "uh-huh" doesn't get interpreted by my best friend as me being uninterested. She gets me. I like that I don't have to force a deep response to convey my genuine attention to her.
Secondly, I appreciate the understanding that we are both moms and wives with five plus kiddos in static and dynamic seasons simultaneously. It's okay if a month goes by and the two-way communication pauses. I don't get worried (anymore) when I may not hear from her for some time. That is my cue to lift my friend in prayer and send out occasional " I Love you" and "I'm thinking about you" flares. You see, the other thing about me is this- I'm affectionate and compassionate to a fault.
In my defense for those who know me personally, I'm not particularly fond of being on the receiving end of physical affection. I do love hugs though- giving them mostly. Touch is my love language only in context. Yet I must say I feel most fulfilled when I can do something that makes others feel loved, regarded, and cared for. I detest the idea of people feeling overlooked, disregarded, or excluded. Contributing to others feeling seen and acknowledged is a big deal for me.
Specifically I take great joy in greeting newcomers at church, and following up with them. Likewise, it makes my heart full to remember my loved ones birthdays and send them a birthday greeting.
And so every year I can't wait to say Happy birthday to one of my dearest friends. I try to send a gift in time when I can. Yet I always make it a point to say something thoughtful and meaningful, and just-for-her. I feel accomplished and excited to make sure she knows- "Hey we are far apart, but you are not forgotten. I love you."
And with 14 clock hours in difference as it presently is between us, I timed it up for the 23rd day of the month and sent my curated GIF and birthday salutation- one to be envious of for sure. I can't wait for her to see it.
The Reveal
"It's the 25th! LOL. Thank you sug'."
Immediately I mentally respond, What? No, your birthday is the 23rd- one day before my daughter's. It's been that way in my calendar for the last 14 years and--
But then I laughed and shook my head in disbelief,
"Bes' Fren'! Almost 15 years though. I have been telling you happy birthday on the 23rd. Why haven't you told me??"
" I have! LOL. Like every year!"
By this time I'm doubled over laughing, still trying to remember when has she ever told me her birthday was the day after, not the day before my daughter's birthday-- The 25th?! I also think it was hilarious that for a second I was so convinced that SHE was wrong about her OWN birthday.
But how could she be? It's hers.
I was wrong- for years- and was not only convinced, but even took pride in, the knowledge and acknowledgment of what I thought I knew.
But I was wrong.
To Be continued....
Comments
Post a Comment