A Letter to my brother

I went back and read a letter I wrote to my brother some time ago. It brought things back to memory that I want to stay in the front of my mind. I hope it also brings encouragement to  some of you as well.

(C)2012,2008 Chantel Dillard

3/28/12

Dear Brother,

 I was elated to have a letter from you. I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write back, but things are as they are to be right?

I just came back from an awesome conference and it has ignited my soul so fiercely. God spoke to me while there and told me to do a thing that seems so unthinkable. I know he is prompting me to trust him so much more deeply than I have been. I know he is giving me an opportunity to exercise my faith and I can watch him do the things that /I think are outside of his care. It is just so hard to do. We say we trust God but when it comes to it in reality we are so quick to take back what we said out of our mouths. God help me.

God wants me to spend the majority of my time with him. He wants me to give him most of my time of the day, not just more of my time. I said God then what about the house and what about the children, and what about dinner and what about this and that? How do I balance it all? God spoke so clearly to me when he answered- Don’t. You are not supposed to balance it- that is the problem. You are trying to control what is not yours to control. You are trying to play God. I humbly had to ask him to forgive me. I asked him to forgive me for worry, because I had no idea that worry was in my heart, but me wanting to control every detail of my life, is worry’s ugly sister. 

I must admit that I have still have not done well on that front. I have still, even this day, kept putting my time with God on the back burner- thinking to myself, okay well let me just get one more thing done. Okay just one more thing and that way I can talk to God without distraction. Excuses, excuses…

Boy is it hard for me to let go and trust that what is, is what must be, for if I am in his plan, then every aspect of my life is going according to his plan no matter how much it seems to be taking me the opposite of what I think his plan should be for me. As much as we know it in our hearts and minds, it is still hard to grasp how much GOD really IS In CONTROL. He is. We have to accept that, and lean into that. It is my comfort. I am learning more and more each passing day to see each moment of my life- the frustrations and the elations (and everything in between) through the eyes of a loving and merciful God. He said ALL things work together for my good, and I have to live like I believe that.

Welp, enough about me. How are things going for you? I am glad to see that you are communing with the Lord. I pray you find each day your “place” of worship- and never come out of it. I pray you run hard after God, like never before, and you let this be the beginning of greater things to come...

Be strong in the Lord, brother. Keep talking and listening to the Lord. Keep humbling yourself under his mighty hand. Trust in him, that this is his plan- for he has the expert ability at making the crooked paths straight. I love you and will try to write again to make up for the lapse in time.  Remember your royal heritage and walk and talk like the kingly priest you are.

-Channy

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