Holy and Happy Part 2

image from wanelo.com

Happiness, it seems, can only be defined on an individual basis.
What makes me happy may not do the same for you.
But in exploring happiness in holy matrimony, is it wrong to expect it?

And is it naive to expect your spouse to be a source of happiness for you?

I say no, and no.

 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.- Prov. 5:18

Why else do we marry, if not in it's simplest form, for the belief that we have found "the one who our soul loves"?
When we are convinced in our mind, and soul we have found the one who evokes that "peaceful satisfaction" in our spirits, we agree to the deepest commitment there ever can be outside of Christ.

And I believe it is God-initiated.
This desire to marry, and our desire toward the one he leads us to marry, are a part of a God-instituted drive, to unify two hearts into one.

Will spouses fail at making the other happy?
Yes,
because we are frail and dust.
But it is not impossible, to walk in the Spirit, and subdue the carnal nature and oblige ourselves to serve the other in a way that brings them a peaceful satisfaction (my definition of happiness)- and actually find joy in doing so.

Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.- Ecclesiastes 9:9

Yes there is a way to find joy in service. Think about the delight you will inspire in your spouse's heart to have prepared their favorite meal. Think about the smile on her face when you thoughtfully clear the clothes and books from the foot of the bed. Imagine the pure joy in his eyes when he comes home to inviting arms and a kiss.
Shouldn't knowing you had a hand in your spouse's peaceful satisfaction, compel you to put in the effort to do the little things they request of us?

This dedication to your spouse is a holy dedication. It is attentive and exclusive, because no one will know them as well you as the years go by. No one will know that he likes black tea, not green, so much. No one will know her greatest fear and her biggest accomplishment. This is what makes your union holy. And in the pursuit of holiness, there is a peaceful satisfaction that results. Holiness is separation from the "world" and dedicated exclusiveness to your love. This holiness inspires service, and this service inspires happiness.

Maybe marriage was not meant to make you happy, but happy you will be, when holy to one another and to God, you are.

-Blessings, Chantel


P.S. Maybe you would like to Check out the book Sacred Marriage:What if God designed Marriage to make us Holy more than to make us happy by Gary Thomas.