Intentional worship

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Sometimes I can be my own worst enemy. 

A negative thought enters the brain canal and before I can blink it couples up with another.

In minutes I am on the brink of depression.

I know with my intellect  and from experience  I need to flood out the negative with the positive. 

I know I need to shift my focus to rescue myself from the slippery slope of pity and gloom, but for some reason it feels good to wallow.🙎

It feels good to feel emotionally justified and, and entitled to my thoughts.

But before long I no longer own my emotions.

They own me, and without delay begin to drag me

d

 o

  w

    n...

I am faced with a decision. Remain here in the heavy darkness and feed my sense of entitlement, or return to the light and turn my hurts and anguish over to the Lord.

Now to do the sensible thing is not as easy as it sounds. Just because it's good for you doesn't mean it feels good to you.

Letting go of my justified feelings and giving them to God makes me feel like I am betraying myself. It makes me feel hypocritical- being dishonest about the way I really feel about some things. But I know if I don't let go I am going to be enslaved to what I could not let go of. It will become bigger than I can handle until things are out of control.

So I take a deep breath and with tears stinging I open my mouth to tell the Lord Thank you. 

I tell him Thank you for this cool fresh air, and a voice whispers "you're phony". I say Thank you , again, this time for the night sky, and a voice says "He doesn't care or you wouldn't be dealing with this". I shake my head and say "Thank you for this moment." Again the voice says "Is he real? Are you wasting your time?" 

 Then the word came to my mouth- "Though he slay me yet will I trust him... The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the name of the Lord." And again the word came through my lips " I will bless the Lord at ALL times. His praise shall CONTINUALLY be in my mouth. My soul shall make her boast in the Lord. The Humble shall hear thereof and be glad."

This time,there was no rebuttal. And I felt peace sweep in and a lifting of the heaviness took place.

I repeated the verse from Psalm 34 again out loud, exhorting myself to bless the Lord. I reminded myself that it is the humble that will hear the boasting of the Lord. If I can not hear my soul's boasting on the Lord, then I am in a prideful state and the Lord gives Grace only to the humble.

It's amazing what happens when we force our flesh to submit to the Spirit and the beckoning of God. Days of depression is swept away in 5 minutes of humble submission to the Word and Spirit of God.

Don't let your carnal nature rob you of peace and joy in the name of entitled feelings and emotions. If there must be a visit, don't live there. 

 Drag your flesh out of the pity party into a praise party. 

Trust him, give it to Him, and praise on purpose, and command yourself to praise.

I WILL bless the Lord.

Be an intentional worshiper.