Suffer the little children: When Children experience death

What comes to the mind at the word child?

Young. Innocent. No cares. Small. Precious. Energetic. Lively. Naive. 

Maybe you thought of some others. 

What about death?

What about grief?

Not so much, huh?

And when you are faced with coming to grips with a grieving son or daughter, a grieving sibling or grandchild, or even a grieving little friend, the instinct to save them from the experience completely is hard to ignore. When children lose a sibling, a cousin, or a close friend we want to protect them from hurt and make the heavy weight of grief go away. One would even wish to take all their pain on themselves just so such a young soul does not have to bear the load.

But journey back  with me to a scene on a  day when Jesus is surrounded by adults wanting to get their needs met. At some point there is a noticeable stirring, perhaps, at the outer edge of the crowd. The tension and voices begin to escalate. Jesus realizes what is happening. There are people trying to get through to Him. But this is different. While  many people pushed through crowds to get to Jesus for themselves, here were individuals wanting to get, not themselves, but little children to The Good Shepherd.

Jesus speaks up and says, "Let the children come to me. Do not stop them."

And you know what he did next, he laid his hands on them.

See these people bringing the children, whether parents or older siblings, caretakers, etc, realized something. When they witnessed the impact Christ had on all those who came in contact with him, they discovered there was no comfort as comforting as that of Jesus. They realized there was no remedy that could soothe as much as Jesus could. This group brought their children to Jesus because they acknowledged their own limitations. I can't save my child from this, but I know who can.

Why is Jesus so qualified to comfort?

He willingly submitted to physical torture to make sure we would have certain healing.

He was punished to make us whole again.
    His wounds have healed us.- Isaiah 53:5

He promised that he is an available friend and will come to us and comfort us when we are in trouble. 

That friend is the Spirit of truth. The world can’t accept him. That’s because the world does not see him or know him. But you know him. He lives with you, and he will be in you. 18 I will not leave you like children who don’t have parents. I will come to you.- john 14:17-18

So what do we do,  when we have run out of options it seems for our grieving little one?
We bring them to Jesus, and let Him touch their little hearts, like only he can.

 Here are a few tips to bringing your grieving little one to Jesus:

 1. Read to them, kid friendly verses dealing with comfort, peace, rest, and faith. I have pasted a few below as a start.

John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (NIV).

Philippians 4:5-7 Don’t worry about anything. No matter what happens, tell God about everything. Ask and pray, and give thanks to him. 7 Then God’s peace will watch over your hearts and your minds. He will do this because you belong to Christ Jesus. God’s peace can never be completely understood. 

2. Pray with them. Don't just tell them to pray, do it with them.
3. Don't avoid the subject. Talk with them about the loved one who died. Share memories and let them know you are hurting too. Help them write a letter to Jesus about their loved one. Let them express their true feelings of confusion, anger, fear, or even relief. David did, and we have an entire book (Psalms) to prove it.
4. Remember it's a process, and as a believer we know that God's grace is enough to walk through this valley. Yet there is peace in the valley, so don't rush them through the grieving process. Walk with them.
5. Pray often for the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and let he Holy Spirit intercede on your behalf especially when you don't know what to pray.
6.Be patient.
7. Start a discourse with someone at your local church. You'll be surprised at the others who are waiting to open up about their own experience.

While this is not in anyway exhaustive I hope it is a start to helping your grieving little one do so in a healthy way. They and you will get through this. No doubt you'll both be impacted for the rest of your lives by the loss, but the valley is a through-point. It's not the destination. God is with you, and he wants the little ones to rest in that.
Know Jesus
Know Peace
No Jesus, no peace.