The Blessing in Imperfection

image from clayinthehands.blogspot.com

OK I'll be the first to admit.

 I used to be the one who would cringe at the thought of offending anyone. The mere inkling that something I might do would cause someone disappointment kept me in a jumping rope mode. I was always "double-dutching" with my life. Juggling became the norm, and "yes"was my positive-life mantra.

I figured, it was easy. All I have to do is smile,  stay cheerful, have good manners, and stay dependable. I could never offend anyone.

But then, in planning an event, I unintentionally overlooked a church sister's name who paid to participate. When I arrived at the event I did not have enough of the materials (wooden letters we were decorating) for her to participate. I mistakenly counted her as a sister with the same first name.  Over a week later I just happened to be talking with her on the phone, with my usual cheerful demeanor, and abruptly she asked if she would get a refund for the event. I was puzzled. Then she had to remind me that she was the first one who actually signed up and paid (ouch!) Suddenly it all came back to me- the clip board, the money, the envelope. oh no! She proceeded to share that she was very upset that she had t o sit there among the ladies awkwardly twiddling her thumbs as every one else excitedly engaged in the craft we were making. Meanwhile, the entire time I wrongly assumed she'd forgotten to sign up. Feeling sympathetically awkward for her, I spent that evening trying to invent ways to include her in the project.  I had no idea, It was my fault! I was the one who dropped the ball.  I began fervently apologizing, highly embarrassed. Because I was not made aware of the mistake until more than a week later, damage had been done to this sister emotionally, as she was just beginning to engage more with the ladies in our local church group. Talk about a big whoops!

 While I have obviously committed offenses before, this one really did a number to me.  It didn't matter how nice I am to people.  It can not erase my humanity.Yep, I am not above mistakes, and this one put me in a mental whirlwind. I was torn and guilt ridden that I hurt the heart of someone. What was worse is that I was completely unaware, and was attempting to interact with them normally as if nothing happened.

It took something like this, to remind me of my humanity.
Even now I am learning each day to embrace the frailty of my human state and recognize the blessing in being imperfect.
Coming to grips on this has helped me to detect and cast off a little more pride and put on more meekness. Being able to embrace my mistake-prone self has caused me to marvel more than superficially at the Love of the Lord and his amazing grace.

This grace has filled my heart with a deeper compassion and patience with others than ever before. 

Like this situation for example: A friend on Good Friday, mentioned she was hosting an egg hunt  that Sunday and we were welcome to bring the children. I told her it sounds like fun and I'll let her know (or so I thought.) On the day of the party I contacted her  two hours before start time, with an apology explaining that something unexpectedly came up and I'd be unable to attend. Lo and behold this friend was pretty upset because she was prepared for us to come. Apparently her children were now expecting mine and when I canceled on her she was upset for them. She was offended, that I did not call the day before to cancel. Here I was, thinking I was doing the right thing by calling to let her know of our intentions. Yet, in her opinion, it was too late. I was saddened to hurt a friend, but I also did not feel the guilt or condemnation I'd normally feel.

You see, even if I dotted all the I's and crossed all the T's, someone would still be offended. That's why Paul asked, Am I a servant of men or of God? If I choose to please men, then I am not a servant of God. Double ouch. I mean, hey, maybe my smile night rub someone the wrong way. I realize that I can not control the actions or perceptions of others. Obvious, I know. Yet it was a lesson I was slow in learning.

Now,  when I would  normally cringe at letting others down, I am humbled. I am humbled knowing these things happen and God's Grace is enough. I experience a swelling of thankfulness in my heart towards the Lord that He would still choose to invest his Love in imperfect me. I am filled with joy, knowing that God is perfect and consistent and dependable. If I obey Him, allowing him to live in me, then all my mistakes will become part of the story working together for good. His Grace is enough for you. His grace is enough for me. Our imperfect is a blessing, causing us to fall into the arms of HE who alone is. We are complete in Him.